Montana

I know I've been away for a bit, but listen, we have been really busy. We went to Montana for a week and had a great time in the mountains. It is absolutely beautiful there. It's been nearly a month since my last post, but I'm back. Enjoy this in the mean time:

 

Progressed moon in Virgo

I have been thinking a lot about my progressed moon in Virgo. It's been about a year since my moon has progressed into the sign and I am not quite aware of the difference just yet. My natal moon is in the later degrees of Cancer, so I've lived most my life so far with a progressed Leo moon. In the very least, I have noticed my desire for drama has diminished. My emotional life feels much more visceral, and I can get in tune with it just by how my body is reacting.
I have no Virgo placements, but it will be interesting to note how I feel in another year or two when the progressed moon will oppose my natal Pisces stellium. For that I think I should do a little research on the Pisces/Virgo axis. I know you're right at the edge of your seats on this, so I'll keep you posted.

EDITED: My newly progressed Virgo moon woke me up last night to remind me that I was wrong about my thinking. I have not lived most my life as a progressed Leo moon. Sheesh. Progressions, a day for a year. The moon is in a sign for 2-3 days, hence, the progressed moon is in a sign for 2-3 years. I must have been loopy when I wrote that stuff yesterday.

Anyway, let's see how the next couple of years treats me. Probably more waking up in the middle of the night because I remember something I screwed up and need to fix.

Anniversary

Today is the one year anniversary of my dad's death. I didn't remember when I first woke up or when I was on my way to work. I didn't remember when I was having coffee with some friends. I didn't remember until I was leaving the coffee shop and one of my friends reminisced that her mother passed away when she was very young. That ten minute walk between the coffee shop and work was excruciating. My throat was replaced by a lump.
I got to work and proceeded to cry at my desk. I've been trying my damn hardest to relax, but it's tough. I messaged my sister and we've been chatting a bit, but she stayed home today. I wish I had.

I think I'm getting better though, a little more under control at least. But focus, I have none. Being here is pretty stupid. I'd rather be having shots somewhere.

I would love to write about my dad and good things. It hurts too much. I miss him too much.

This picture was taken during his first and only trip to visit me in Boston. I got tickets for a Red Sox vs Tigers game since he grew up rooting for the Tigers. The Tigers won that game. The trip for them was sweet and sour. Dad was pumped full of prednizone and oxygen tanks were delivered to my apartment during their stay. This image is during our trip to Gloucester. Dad wanted lobsters, so I rented a wheelchair and we hopped in a Zipcar to the north shore. This is only the second to last time I saw him alive. His health just kept plummeting from then on.

I know wishing is useless, but I wish he wasn't gone. I miss him so much.

Not as planned

There wasn't much for good news today. I met a woman who is turning out to be a great networking resource, but does not have a position available for my specialty. Afterwards, I had a pelvic ultrasound and was able to see the cysts on my ovaries up close and personal.

So I went and got my nails done. Hot pink, mind you. But, even the nails have some bumps in the paint that shouldn't be there.

All of the sudden, I am overwhelmed with emotion. The disease became real when I looked on that screen and saw the cysts. My lack of motivation turned on me when I realized I won't get that job.

Down and out today, no where to turn.

Crappy Valentine's Day.

Grand trine

I have what is called a dissociate grand trine. This is an aspect pattern that looks like a big equilateral triangle spread across my chart. Grand trines are known for being within one element. For example, having a planet in all three fire signs at 120° from their neighboring fire sign would make such a triangle.
The issue with my grand trine is that two of the water signs, Pisces and Cancer, have planets in very late degrees. However, they still form a trine to the third planet which has stealthily crept into the next sign, Sagittarius, a fire sign. Since the third planet in my grand trine is in a different element there is a bit of intrigue within this aspect pattern. A common description you might hear about grand trines is that they promote laziness, somewhat like "life offered on a silver platter". But if you don't know how to use the opportunities afforded to you by this silver platter, your gifts can easily go to waste. I like to think that the jolt of fire in my grand trine lifts me out of the complacent pattern, but that's not always the case.

I discovered something I never thought of before regarding my grand trine. The pattern in my chart involves the Sun (Pisces), the Moon (Cancer) and Uranus (Sagittarius). This thought came to my mind today, somewhat out of the blue, "I do not like other people holding me down, whether it is through their conscious will over me or my own thoughts about them". This is an ongoing theme in my life. No one can tell me (Uranus) how I should be (Sun) and they certainly can't tell me how I should feel (Moon). If they do, I will inevitably rebel or just detach (Uranus).

Today - New Moon in Aquarius

Today's New Moon in Aquarius brought to you buy Mars...

The energy today was heavy. New moons are supposed to be new beginnings, fresh starts. But every day for me lately seems like groundhog's day - pun intended. I was slogging through the snow on my way to work and slogging home through the slush. Heaviness was most definitely prevalent.

Mars was hanging out with the moon and sun today and Saturn contacted them all by a sweet trine. But as sweet are trines should be, anything with Mars and Saturn is going to be combustible. Throw in the Moon and the Sun and egos and emotions are running in high gear.

For me this day wreaked of inconsideration. But even still, Aquarius is best when people get together - so if you were able to emote (moon) your issues (sun/mars) to others (Aquarius), necessary feedback was sympathetic (moon).

Thank goodness. :)

Blog obsession

So I'm obsessed with a blogger I found not too long ago, Melissa at dearbabyblog.com. I started reading her blog when Greg and I started seriously talking about making babies. I have mentioned her blog before in a previous post, but I can't figure out the obsession. Sure, she's totally adorable. Sure, she takes pictures daily. Sure, she's awfully and unabashedly sentimental. But dang, I am straight up obsessed. I mean how could you not be? The video she posted today was so darling, it brought tears to my eyes.

I confess, I even had a very odd dream about her. I've never met the woman in real life and I'm dreaming about her?! It's a little insane.

In all honesty, her blog is a refreshing time-out from the daily B.S. that is life and that's why I read, that is why I'm obsessed. She doesn't talk about the state of the world or her job or her troubles. She talks about the good stuff that goes along with pregnancy and her little babies. She talks about her love for her husband. She talks about gratitude. And I really like all that kind of stuff she talks about.