Tonight, I feel cheated.
Cheated because my father won't be there to walk me down the isle. He won't be there to see HIS first grandchild (not his stepson), that's if I can even have children.
I feel cheated because my dad is dead and I'm not even 30 yet.
I hate this so much.
One of my best friends lost her father several years ago. I feel guilty talking about losing my dad when she hasn't had one for a long time.
Cheated and in disbelief...how can I even imagine or pretend to believe there is a higher power. People keep talking about angels and how Greg and I are lucky to have each other and know each others pain. Fuck that.
Fuck losing a parent each in less than a week. It's bullshit and that's how I feel and no one can tell me different. I saw two dead parents in a six day period. I want to flip off this god that people speak about. I want to scream.
Back to my wine...for now. Maybe I'll feel less.