Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Home again

The last two weeks have been hellish, most definitely. I'm glad to be home, I'm glad to be with my cat and my man. I'm terrified of what my next thought will be though. I haven't been thinking the last two weeks, just doing. When we got the call about Greg's mother passing, Greg crawled back in bed with me and sobbed for hours. I can't even tell you how long it was, I was just holding him, hoping that my little bit of comfort would warm him.

We made the trip to Vermont the next day to be with his family. We went through the motions, people were in and out of the house, bringing food and taking care of us. It was amazing what I saw. These people just came out from everywhere to help Greg and his family cope with Jeanne's death.

We drove 2 hours away for the funeral and wake, family members and close friends were there to console. That night, Greg and I drank till we couldn't think. My mother called me while we were resting and said she didn't think dad was well. The next day, I woke to about 5 or 10 different missed calls from both my sister and mother. I knew what was happening. I called my sister and woke her at 530am, she said that dad had passed away.

There was another service for Jeanne in her hometown that day. I didn't think I could do it, but I managed. All of Greg's family had heard and they came at me after the service. I almost broke down right there. So many people, so many wonderful people trying to offer their comfort.

We flew to North Carolina that afternoon. A couple of friends drove us to the airport and I think we were drunk by the time we got there. My mother and sister picked us up. It was so different there. No one came to my mother's house. Even my brother was at work and my sister stayed away that first couple of days. I was so confused. Did anyone love my father or mother? Not a soul showed up with dinner.

We had a small wake at my mother's house, we helped her put up pictures and organize a few flowers that had arrived from my co-workers and Greg's family. My sister, brother and his coworkers showed up, a few hospice nurses, and two women that work with my mother. Seemed so barren.

Mom got a new dog from the shelter, a black lab mix. I think she is going to be a nice new buddy for mom.

We made it home yesterday after being away almost two weeks. It's been intense to say the least, but I haven't really had much time to feel anything just yet. I have some things to deal with, I know that.

I have a lot of thoughts going on in my head, but they are not fully processed yet. I can't write about them right now, but I will.


  1. (((Alicia)))
    I hope your blog will be a source of purging and healing. I'm sorry you had to endure such a painful couple of weeks. Big hugs to you.

  2. Thanks Shell, super hugs right back at you...xo

  3. ((alicia))

    Grief is cyclical. That is something I wish I had been told when I first lost someone close to me.


  4. You're so right C. I never thought of it that way...

    Hugs to you, xo.