Thursday, December 31, 2009

Gone, gone, she's gone so far away

Happy New Year's Eve, by the way.

We're leaving tomorrow morning, hopping on a single-engine cessna, in the middle of Mercury retrograde and a snowstorm. Pray for me. I'm not even religious...
Alright, it's not really a snow storm, they only predict a couple inches. But that tiny ass plane makes me nervous.

Wouldn't that make you nervous?

Anyhow, I'll be fine, I'm sure. I'm more nervous about being in Vermont. I'm scared shitless honestly. This isn't my forte. I don't know what dying is about. I don't know how to act around people that are struggling to hold on to someone else's scraps of life.

Worst of all, I don't know what to do with Greg. I don't know how to support him right now, even though he says I'm doing everything right. I don't feel like I am. On top of that, I've been sick this week, and needing him to attend to my physical sickness, all while he needs me to attend to his mental issues. I know I wouldn't be so concerned about how I'm taking care of him if I weren't sick. Illness really messes up my brain functioning.

But I'm feeling a little clearer today, and ready to clean up the house a bit before we leave tomorrow morning. I'm not sure when we'll be back. And like I said, I'm going crazy scared out of my mind about it. Well, fantastic. Happy fuckin' new years.


  1. Still mid-trip, one more week to go! It's going better than expected, just trying to fend off the leaches and vampires that keep coming around trying to suck out what they can from a dying woman. It's pathetic some of the people I've encountered...more on that soon.