Thursday, October 15, 2009

My apart.

My sister called me last night in tears. She had no idea that our dad's prognosis wasn't great. She had no idea that he is basically living on the edge. She sees him at least once a week, she knows what he looks like, from the swelling in his face and ankles and bruising on his arms, all from the the million different breathing treatments he has every day just so that he can get through it.

I don't know why, but she just had no idea that his prognosis meant that he wouldn't be around much longer. At least, she didn't seem to understand it until last night.
I didn't know how to do it. I feel like there is so much going on with Greg's mom, that I just didn't know what to say to her. She was a wreck. But I called her today to talk it over a little more and really understood why she was in such a bad state last night. She told me that she felt like only recently had she really begun to start being respectful and loving to mom and dad. She explained that she knew she had been a brat for so long, and she has only just begun to grow up a little and appreciate the value of having a loving relationship with mom and dad. And now dad is just withering away right in front of her.

Rewind to about 8 years ago, I did the same thing. I was never a terrible brat, I was always the "good" child. But I did harbor feelings of inadequacy for my parents, which seeped through my blatant disapproval of their reactions to my rebellious behavior at the time (engaged at 20, drinking heavily, etc). But then I started to grow up, change my life and realize that they were human and that they deserved my love, not just for what they had done for me, but because they were my flesh and blood, they gave me life, they taught me to be who I am.

And so it goes...and we grow up...


  1. ((((alicia)))((((your sis))))

    so much to process in this life, it is astounding.