Friday, June 19, 2009

No fun

Disclaimer: This is a very personal entry, less astrology as it is a need to express emotion.

There is a storm brewing in my home.

The love of my life is having a most difficult Pluto transit. I need to write about it, because I have no other outlet to turn to. This is all new to me too. My Neptunian blinders have always been on. Even now, Neptune is transiting on my Mercury, clouding my thoughts, perhaps still trying to force me to see the bright side.
But how can I when his mother is sick?

This transit has already brought up some issues from his past. Last summer, after her diagnosis and dismal prognosis (6 months to 2 years) was discovered, there was stuff brought up about him and their past relationship. He talked a lot about whether or not he should talk to her about how he's hurt and wants her apology. He talked about how he's taken on the roll of strength for the rest of the family, her sisters and brother included.
Then we had a moment of solace, the tumor was stable and they wanted her to take a break from treatment. That news was just a month ago. Unfortunately last night's news were not as bright. The tumor is back in force, the doctor's want her to come in asap, and she told my love last night that she doesn't want to go through it again.

He can't argue with her either. He's said it before. He knew it would come to this.

"This is gonna be bad, really bad. If she just lets it go, then the tumor will just go at her, piece by piece. She won't be able to eat properly, her vision and speech will go, she will lose her motor skills and eventually just lose it all completely. It's going to be really bad."

My heart dropped a million miles.

Pluto opposes his Moon until next December and Saturn will square his Moon sometime in November.

I'm walking down this dark path with him. It's going to be really tough and scary at times, I know this. Whatever she chooses to do, I know that she will do what is best for herself.